philophobia05

So.. Went out with her yesterday. Fun type of adventure if you want to call it that. We met up at Eisenhower.. blah blah blah.. whop whoo whoo. Mind you, im supposed to be going to her house to help her with taking the test for the Agency I hooked her up with for the jobs. Get to the house, first thing happenes... her sister looks like she made cause a nigger stepped in the house (funny, but i could care less. wasnt like me and Darsey fucking). So we go off to the back like out on a balcony type room, and I wait there while she gets the laptop. We're typing away, finishing up the test, 630 rolls around. Bam. she has somewhere she needs to be.

Fast Forward to the important stuff I'll probably forget in a couple weeks. (guess its good to type your memorys, right?)

So she decides to take me near the water... going walking and talking. Granted, im her friend, so this whole "Dawsons Creek", walking near the water as friends thing is kind of like "umm.. okay". This is CLEARLY something you do with someone your dating, pursuing, or trying to get to know. I've established this before that I have no want for her. So.. She continues to walk and talk. And you already know the topic... The ex boyfriends. The dudes that dogged her.

Mind you, I have water bottle in hand, so i figure i'll go ahead.. and just twist the cap, and play with it while she talks, thatll do the trick. So she goes on and on and on about the dude. And her thing.. is she goes to Club Love, and numerous other clubs to get AWAY from the thought of dude. Crazy as shit, right?

Anyway.. I dont know what to do with her.. because she likes to hang out, and do this friend shit.. but how can you be friends with someone that always is complaining about the past? Like they forget to strive about the future? The dude DONT WANT HER. So drop it. Thats what I want to tell her ass, but for some reason.. shes not getting the memo.

So...I'm in route to help Darsey with her whole 'job' situation. Mind you...couple weeks ago..She was more so intrigued by some nigga, she totally forgot how to spell friendship. So as a result I started backburning her. Showing her no type of attention whàt so ever. Now..she wants to be around.

Crazy...I was on the phone last night with E, and everyone wants to decide to call. Whether it was Tim, The ex, or whomever. But Darsey was the one that stuck out the most. Lol. She called because the power went out last night near her house and whatnot, and she was walking in the dark. (Sidenote: right now I have a mean craving for Cold Stone right now).

Back to the topic...I'm on the blue line, having to transfer to meet up with her. Swear to everything she better be there when I get there. Real talk.

Nothings planned to happen, she's just a friend and whatnot. Nothing much else to that situation outside of that. (Lord willing). I must admit..she's a little cute one, but other than that, umm..mshes my friend. I can't have that. I try to respect boundaries. (Even though some bridges were crossed in the past...I may speak on this later)

When I do leave here...I'm going to the house. Lay down...go the hell to sleep. I need a new pillow, I think the ones I have currently are frustrated with the abuse I been giving to them for all these years.

Ill be writing again. Patience.

--oh wow.. Someone's sent me photos on my phone. 'Desert' IMO.

Im still trying to find out what her dayjob is..... but damn... This w makes me wanna.....



 



owwwwwwwwwwww oman

Most girls like a finger in their ass while your fucking them, its an extra turn on and a guaranteed orgasm. 50% of the women i fucked enjoyed it ages ranged from 22-35 years old and the other 50% got mad ages ranging from 18-22.. To me i love giving that girl extra pleasure she runs and tell her friend about.

Now me personally, if a girl goes anywhere near my asshole, she getting kick out before she even gets dressed, shit flying out the window!!

what do girls think? FINGER IN or NOT 

Real talk though.  

 Woman im friends with is one of them (Jehovahs). So we start discussing holidays and such,a nd she says she cant celebrate christmas, thanksgiving, valentines day..etc etc.

Now i've celebrated it all my life, and im sure theres plenty of times for her to meet family, but if we get serious, i'd like to know she'd be there to meet them at their best (or worse).. But she cant. Against the "quota".

What would you do in this situation? Would you create your own special "days" to give each other gifts (not anniversaries), or days to eat and enjoy time with the family (not cookouts)..or even a day to show you care the most, by getting her certain things you feel shes/he'd like?

When I asked a friend about it.. he basically put it to me like this (on a message board)

DO NOT DATE A JEHOVAHS WITNESS

no disrespect to their beliefs but they are wierd

they force their religion on everyone they know

they excommunicate their own family and children for not wanting to be in the religion

they pretty much dont care for u unless ur one of them

Whats a dude to do though? Because she seems cool. But what if one day we have a party or something.. She cant come? Whats the reasoning behind this? I need to know. I need answers. Because im feeling on the outst of things. Mind twisted right now. 

 lmao. I wonder if a woman would get mad if when we fucked, i just outright did some shit like this



owwwwwwwwwww

Since day one, when I first saw her smile
I was kind of taken for a rush to find love's mountain to climb
I saw us sailing off together like two captains on a ship
To later gaze into her eyes and to kiss gently on her lips
To know her name was the first step needed to accomplish my goals
Of someday cruising into the sunset to walk forever on the sea shore
How I'd love to make her happy like she seeing her father since a long time
I love every crevice of her body from her cute dimples to her curved spine
Hair longer than the moss that grows wild down south in the trees
Beauty as defined as exotic birds, and she's sweeter than the richest honey from bees
Her face I would stare into majestically like an astronomer that studies the stars
The galaxy would cower to her presence-she could brighten my life like the sun from afar
Dangerously infatuated with this lady to the point I get lost for words
She consumes my literary process, limits my nouns and verbs
And if this piece applies to you, yeah the female reader who has read this poem
In such a cold, cold world let me love you-my heart will always keep you warm….   

Im sitting here reading on a website, and this woman says that she can tell hoe good a man is in bed by the way he dances. granted.. I enjoy dancing. lol. Funny.. I have a nice little youtube clip of me dancing. Now.. dont get me wrong.. aint none of that jolly.. Lebron on SNL type of dancing like so:




But more so better (Click the link to see)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_RvP10bDTyw
Owwww

 

Most of my blog posts are going to be random as hell (because I am).. Now if you cant see this image because your on a blackberry or something.. I'll give you a link to it, so you can see it. But its a woman that literally swallowed a whole banana, and then took it out without it breaking or anything. Surprised the red hell out of me. *sigh* I need a woman who can deep throat. If not, shes able to have a decent sexual apetite. (probably spelled that wrong, but oh what the fuckity)

 

So... This here.. is.. an ass. Im sitting here and wondering.. Can I handle it? I mean i have before. Im sexually liberated.. so theres things that I'd possibly do to it. (But hey.. im random). FIgured Id take a photo of it, and post it. AN ass is a useless muscle. Excess body fat from the back. (But i love it though). lol

 What do i honestly want from these women? I've been dealing with women for 21 years of me breathing. What the hell do I want? Is it because the pussy is THAT powerful that I must have it? Is it the conversation? Is it their faces and style? I cant even call it. I used to actually go out of my way for women. Treating them nice, doing things for htem to make them feel special. But lately.. I just feel like, blah. Dont get me wrong, some of them have amazed me when they opened their hearts and mouths, but majority never amounted to shit. 

I have a host of females that text and call my phone. Never knowing their motives, I dont know if they wanna learn me or fuck me. If they just wanna be around for the thrill, or if they'll leave after the roller coaster ride is finished. I've come to the conclusion that some are very mountainous individuals (if thats a word). One day they may be perky and eager like the top of the slope. THen the next they bring you down faster than a ski slope decline. 

Whats a man to do? Sleep around? Cheat? Have an abundance of women? I personally think i've chosen the third option. And its gotten dry. Since I stepped out of my last relationship, its funny how all of the women that were involved in my life while I was emotionally taken are NOWHERE to be found now that im on my own. Like I had one friend of mine.. Lets call her  "jewel", to save the name of people getting mad for coming across this.

She was always there. Always instant messaging. Calling and texting. Sending photos of her and the family. Even sometimes would send 'private' photos of herself. So.. one day we are sitting there, and im explaining to her a situation of circumstances going on in my relationship. And she says in the wierdest of ways, "you have too many issues going on with her. I dont think we shouls speak." And didnt hear from her for a while. Crazy as shit right? Selfish, but fuck it. 

Just this example alone was crazy due to the fact, Im always there. Even when im not ther for the people that really do 'matter', im there for my friends, associates, and even the enemies. Lord willing I dont have too many of them (which im sure I do). Its a fucking sad site that even you cant trust yourself to trust another. And I truly feel that way sometimes. Maybe my "circle" was full of squares, and it got a little bent out of its proportions. 

Hopefully John Legend was right when he said "Each Day Gets Better".. Because seems like the longer with time.. the more I grieve.

And im STILL serious about my Labor Day pact to myself. Some women have until Labor Day to prove they are worthy of a good man like myself.. or... im going to white women.

Unless of course.. 'she' and I come to an understanding. 

Anyway.. i also have a message board too. Ill post the link too. I just rather it be exclusive to certain people until I tweak it to the masses
  d

http://www.officialkimkardashian.com/

Kim.. Owwww


fuck Reggie Bush.. Nuff said' 




Thought this was one cool ass image

I met a girl once,
Her breath upon the wind,
And eyes amongst the skies.
I touched her hand, laid in the sand.
I've felt her skin, and where it's been.
She's bare; I stare. She cares.
Her touch, too much. As such,
I asked for her to submit.

Masturbatory domination,
Kinky sexuality,
Twisted humanity.

She before I,
And I formed in her,
My heart from hers.
But from her knees,
Her moans don't strike my ears.

I am deaf.
She is lame,
With broken spirit.
She has been tamed.
She bruises easily,
While I treat her sleazily.
A bleeding whore.
The clinic's closed.
Unlike her mouth.
Unlike her legs.
Pried and held open.

I remember her name:

Earth.

Her beauty shines beyond the moonlight.
Her soul illuminates the darkness of the night.
She longs for that someone's embrace.
The one that will give her their grace.
She fights so hard to keep his feelings hidden.
So difficult to express what is forbidden.
So teary, so withered from the lonesomeness.
Deserves whatever she desires nonetheless.
I wish to show him how exceptional she is.
I wish to show she's worth every kiss.


sidenote: She probably wont know this is for her, but obviously its not for everyone else. She has no name, yet everyone knows her. She'll like this when she reads it.. because she'l know it only describes her..

She's so naïve
She can't conceive
The thought that we
Could cease to be
Like the Titanic at sea
Like birds without a tree
She was once my drug-
My nicotine
I used to fiend for her
Spend c.r.e.a.m. on her
I'd dream of her
Do things for her
Now those things…
Just won't compete for her
They're so deceased from her
Like a disease from a…
Bacterial infection gone wrong
Many times I sung songs of melodies
And countless hours of sad songs
Now I'm done!
No more weeping like the willow that grows wild
Or like the cries from a colicky child
You and I have run our last mile
On my mind your name rose like the sun does in the east
Now our love has ceased in existence
Over the horizon set in the west
Who loved you best, better than I?
No one, no thing, ever will compare
No one could compassionately soothe your soul
While running his fingers throughout your hair
Given anything to make you smile
And I gave to receive your contentment
Some times I feel as if I wasted my time
Lost the will to love and trust without resentment
I once thought you were heaven sent
Now I know you made here on earth
You treated my heart like what GOD made it from
From dust it came-u treated me like dirt
The hurt, tears, anxiety, and fears
I am coping with-with all of my power
I once thought I was a wise dude for loving you
Now I know my knowledge must have been for a fool
So to you…
The best in any endeavor
I hope for the best, not worse, I wish you better
And I will never be allowed to get hurt again
You and me should have stayed "just friends"
Cause as friends we were happy together
I guess that's why we chose this endeavor
I hope that these tears dry up on this letter
Before you read this, I know I will be better…

It started with a smile
I fell right in
Called you up and talked for a while
We clicked
I was amazed
To be holding someone like this
To be kissing someone like this
All in all just feeling like this
Things kept going
Bonds growing closer
Love like a river flowing
Always moving without slowing down
But then came the dam
This is where you let me off
To find another better man
I couldnt understand
I was left cold and bare where I stand
Tears filled my pillow for nights
What is wrong with me?
We were perfect without fights
God show me the light
I tryed the best and most honest I could
She needs this
So I will pretend I understood
and let her be happy and good
Shes embraced in new arms
I cant see
While i bottle up new harms
What do i do now
When i dont know
who to turn to
God save me i cant let her go

Love is like a noticeable scar on your body
When you first get a deep cut, it bleeds
Love fulfills your needs, when its over it hurts like a deep cut
Like a scar you will never forget how you got it
In love you will never understand what you had
Nor will you ever understand why it happened
Scars will never disappear on your body
Like love will never disappear from you heart
You look at your body and you see the scar
You think and remember how you got it, you never forget
In love you can never forget what you had
There's never a point where you don't look back, you never forget
So therefore when you think about it, Love is a Scar
Not on your body physically
But inside your body's scared mentally and emotionally
A scar and love can never be healed…only can get better

Indeed you should. So... Today im on myspace, and I actually made a good friend. Crazy, right? Well I guess thats the way things go.  Who would've thought the internets "social networking" was good to meet people with common sense, and the ability to keep their clothes on. Lol. Too many details arent necessary, but shes a nice person to say the least. I've met stranger people on the computer. But crazy thing.. Shes younger than me.  And has an expanded vocabulary. lol. Can you say amazed. Thats different.  I'm used to women with a heightened use of excessive curse words. Anywho.. I'll write more about her in due time. Hopefully she stays the way she is, and doesnt switch up like some of the others have.

Pray for her. lol.

the woman with no face owns my heart...
4 you see i cannot see her....
i cant pass judgement on her...
i can only love her....
true meaning to love is blind..
we will never part or leave each other behind....
ive looked into her mind....
deep into our soul......
no face.,.
but our passion is out of control...
hoping throbbing, longing for her simple touch....
to see the way she moves...the way she talks....the swagger
of her butt.....
is she destiny.....
or is she fate.......
or is she both combined into one made for me to let our
hearts intertwine become as one......
she sings her song i listen im longing im screamin im lusting...
for the woman with no face.....